![]() Unfortunately, I couldn’t give a rose to every flavor. ![]() Distortion’s lime flavor was a little bit stronger than the Baja Blast, placing it slightly into the territory of sodas that taste more like floor cleaners, but I did enjoy it. It reminded me of the Taco Bell exclusive Baja Blast Mountain Dew, which I do enjoy partaking with my Taco Bell meal that most likely contains seasoned ground beef, cheese, shredded lettuce, sour cream, and refried beans in a soft tortilla. Distortion is a “lime blasted” Mountain Dew and not only are its looks familiar, but also its flavor. It looks like regular Mountain Dew, but once it’s popped open, its true self will hit your taste buds. I’d give another rose to Mountain Dew Distortion. Although, as much as I liked it, I wasn’t completely blown away by it. While those who live in the western part of the Pacific Ocean probably don’t like its name, I thought its pineapple and citrus flavor was the best tasting and most unique of the three DEWmocracy flavors. If I were giving out roses, like The Bachelor does, to those flavors I would like to see added to the regular Mountain Dew lineup, I would give the first one to the tropical punch flavored Mountain Dew Typhoon. While The Bachelor had to worry about mono and herpes, I had to worry about diabetes and obesity. Just like The Bachelor, I got to suck face with all of the contestants and put myself at risk for catching a disease. ![]() However, instead of having a harem of fame-seeking women to choose from and give roses to if I deem them to be beautiful or least craziest, I had to select between three caffeine-fortified and Durex condom-colored flavors - White Out, Typhoon and Distortion. I now know what it’s like being The Bachelor, thanks to this year’s Mountain Dew DEWmocracy flavors.
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